Soldier On Hero Profile: Nick Hodge

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Tonight will be Nicholas Hodge’s first taste of live ice hockey. The 38-year old former lance corporal in the Australian Defence Force and former member of the Australian Federal Police will attend the Ice and Mustangs game as a representative of the AIHL’s community partner Soldier On and will have the opportunity to perform a ceremonial puck drop, as well as addressing players from both teams and an expected capacity crowd at the Melbourne Ice House this afternoon.

Hodge, who toured East Timor twice and the Solomon Islands five times in peacekeeping missions, was medically retired eight months ago. Following a 17-year military career, Hodge was diagnosed with PTSD, depression, anxiety, hearing loss and alcohol dependency. However, Hodge has not let that hold him back, preferring to go out into the community to help other veterans with Soldier On.

“When I got retired, I started doing volunteer work at a nursing home, where I’d walk the therapy dog in the morning, talk to older veterans at the nursing home and run bingo, which the residents took very seriously,” Hodge said. “What I want to be doing is volunteering for veterans. I gave Soldier On a call and an email and they said come in for a chat.”

“I met the chief operations officer and the chief activities officer and told them that I was medically retired and that I want to help and be involved. Within a week, they had me helping set up even just simple stuff like running barbeques, picking up furniture and I didn’t mind that at all.”

“When I advised them that I was moving to Torquay, they said that they had a few things if I wanted to take them up. They asked me whether I was interested in visiting a Vietnam veteran, which I do every week now. He’s doing it pretty tough at home and doesn’t want to get out of the house, God bless him, and that’s been pretty good. We would have a chat with him about things that we have in common and not have to be embarrassed because we’ve got a mutual understanding and respect for each other.”

Hodge said that when he first heard that he was being medically retired, he didn’t believe that anything was wrong. However, with time, he came to realise that this was something that would be with him for the rest of his life. Instead of letting it weigh him down, Hodge decided that he wanted to get out in the community and tell his story to try and achieve his goal of helping other veterans.

“My new job now is to look after myself, my family and other people,” Hodge said. “In terms of me helping other people, it in turn helps me as well. It inspires me and as fluffy as it sounds, when I see and get the feeling that I’ve helped someone, that’s what keeps me going.”

“My heart goes out to the veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan. They are getting help from the community and the Federal Government but we still have a long way to go because stigma is the enemy within itself when it comes to returned veterans that are physically and mentally wounded. Some of us that are affected physically and mentally by operational service overseas struggle when we get back home. The stuff that I’ve been diagnosed with, I’ve got for the rest of my life. But I accept that now and I’m not embarrassed by it. For me, it’s all about how I manage myself now.”

Having not been to an ice hockey match before, Hodge is open minded to the game, even going as far as choosing to go for the Mustangs, albeit not for any skills based reasons.

“Orange and black sounds sexy so I’ll go for them [the Mustangs],” Hodge quipped.

But Hodge said that there are greater things than sport that he hopes to get the players thinking about.

“The biggest thing I’ve learnt in my life so far is that unfortunately there is an increased demand of expectations of people who are in the spotlight, whether it be for the good or the bad,” Hodge said. “People can succumb to depression when they are in high profile positions, whether it be in business or in a sporting team. We’re human at the end of the day and from my experience, the brain can only take so much pressure.”

“I really believe in having a balance, irrespective of your career or if you are in professional sport, having a balance and giving yourself permission to have downtime and extra activities. When I came out of the closet with my mental illnesses and that I was a recovering alcoholic, I had to eat a lot humble pie and accept a huge amount of ego deflation. Realising that there are other people other than myself that sometimes do it hard, apart from the veteran community but in the general public, I learnt that you don’t have to go overseas into an operational war zone to suffer problems. That certainly educated me.”

However, his final message is something that we can all take away.

“In summary, be kind to yourself, help others and when your ego is getting a bit big, be careful because it might just bite you in the arse,” he said. “If you can possess honesty and integrity and look someone in the eye and know you don’t owe them anything, I think you’re doing alright.”

Nicholas Hodge will be a featured guest of the AIHL as part of the ANZAC initiative with Soldier On. Soldier On will also be taking donations on the day, so if you are attending the game please dig deep or donate at the Soldier On website.